Favorites adapted from kimberlycarol For Women Life Lessons Singles and Dating

comfortable in my own skin

June 13, 2019
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I tell myself I haven’t changed that much. I’m in my fifties now, but generally I look the same. Well, a few more wrinkles and I fight my grey hair, but I am just an older version of the focused student/cheerleader/writer from high school and college.  Overall, I am much more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was when I was young.

My wish and prayer for you is that you are too. I pray you are comfortable in your curves and laugh, your skin with its imperfections, and your confidence is firm.

I am still me. You are still you. Older is just older.

We are still the same people with a few more miles than last year right? I imagine that like me your friends still make you laugh and it sounds wonderful.

I admit I am more low key than the laughing girl from the first half of my life, but I am still me. Dealing with life through the filter of fibromyalgia has affected everything from energy to reactions to stress, but I still like to keep things in order, write all the time, and hate paperwork. Any unfinished project create stress, so I still push projects to completion. My favorite hobbies are still reading and writing alone, but these days I have grandchildren and love to have them come stay. We do Grammie camp and I let them camp out in the living room. In the fall I love football, and all year I focus on family and like to go camping and swimming with my husband. 

So, I am still the same, but I need to cheerlead for myself on a daily basis, give myself positive input. Our inner voice is either uplifting or discouraging, so I choose to encourage myself.

As I approach my birthday this month, I’ve been thinking about age and wrinkles, my battle to keep my weight down, and the exhaustion of fighting illness. There was a time when I felt so much better that sometimes I shined like a light, but now I struggle.

However, every year I care less about what people think. I feel less guilty about ev-er-y-thing. Most importantly, I don’t take on many projects anymore and I let others take care of me occasionally.

I have learned to live my life for myself, while still maintaining my values and helping others, but on my own terms.

Doesn’t that sound great? My own terms. 

Your own terms. 

 

Having said all of that, if I could share one thing with women of any age, especially those in their late forties and fifties, or give something away to them, it would be the ability to be truly comfortable in their own skin. How amazing it would be to see women of all ages proud of their curves or lack thereof, thrilled by their un made up faces, and telling cheating guys, ungrateful moochers, or abusive husbands to not only take a hike, but kicking their tails into the street. I pray for the strength of good women.

With love and respect for women, I pray for you and your confidence right now.

People see us as we see ourselves, because the vibe we give off is part of our attractiveness.

It is imperative to get one’s self esteem and self regard over into the positive quadrant. I look in the mirror now and I feel more attractive than I did in high school though I am many pounds heavier and 35 years older. I feel good about myself most of the time and I want other women to feel good too. It changes everything. I say most of the time, because like most people,  I have days of self doubt and days where I feel awful or unattractive. But, my inner voice gets a daily boost from posting and encouraging others.

Learning to feel your own beauty and wear it is an amazing thing.

Writing this post makes me aware that I need to revamp my self esteem again too. It has taken a beating since being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and fighting it day in and day out.

If you have an illness too, I want to encourage you. We can still feel female and powerful.

A remedy :

Make a list of your good qualities, talents, beautiful features, moments of success. From “I have long eyelashes,” to “I still have great legs.” “I am always on time,” and “I keep my house clean.” Only the good ones. More than ten, at least twenty plus. List until you can’t think of any more, then ask your friends and add those to the list. You might be surprised what people see as your positive traits. 

Read the list. Tape it to your mirror or put it in your purse and read it. Keep it in your phone Notes.  Try it as a lunch game where everyone says something nice about the person to their right or some version of that. It is a good things about me or you list.

The point is to dwell on your good qualities and force the negative voice in your head to be quiet.

If you want to feel better about yourself, add to the list every day. Re read it every morning or when you leave the house.

Reread it when you go buy clothes and quit buying junky, “but it was on sale!” clothes. Buy something that a beautiful woman (that’s you) would wear. Can I repeat that?

Buy something that a beautiful woman wears, not the cheap version.

You are beautiful as you believe yourself to be.

When you feel beautiful, you dress different, walk different, speak differently. You glow and give off a sexy vibe.

Do something that makes you feel beautiful like getting a new haircut, a new outfit, a manicure, or working out. Buy some sexy shoes, a new blouse, or a few sexy paperbacks. Get in touch with your feminine self and kick the negative to the curb.

I have a friend that I realized one day is overweight by today’s standards. I have never noticed it, because she carries herself like she is the sexiest woman in the room. A guy I know noticed her and remarked on how attractive she was, and I remarked that her attitude towards herself is the attraction.

It is much more fun to be around a woman who is comfortable with herself than someone who is constantly worrying how she looks or what people think.

Give it a shot. Practice being the most attractive person in the room. Own it. Work it. Be the beautiful you. Walk like you are the star of your own life. I am not calling you out to be a diva or a self absorbed preener, just you. The beautiful you, the confident you.

Believe that there is no one like you. Start acting like it. Dress the part and feel your attitude towards yourself change. Get that haircut, surround yourself with beauty. God did not make junk. You are wonderfully made. You are beautiful.

Barefoot, confident, and writing,

Kim


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