Dazzle Part 2. Changing our perspective.
In part one, I talked about being comfortable in your own skin, and working on confidence. I talked about relaxing, smiling, being in the moment, and letting yourself genuinely enjoy your life. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we draw people into our comfortable place. It feels good to be around someone who is comfortable with themselves. We need that same perspective.
So, here in part two, I want to talk about roadblocks to remove to makeover our perspective.
In order to feel like a fascinating beautiful individual, we need their same perspective.
First, cultivate joy. You can’t fake the glow and allure of true joy.
As opposed to wallowing in what is not working, joy involves rerouting focus. It is not about being flakily happy. It is about perspective, choosing joy even when things are not perfect, protecting contentment. The focus is on the desired outcomes.
We are creative with our words and bring things into being by talking about them, so speak about things you like, admire, and find joy in. Words are powerful, so start speaking about the things you want.
Consciously, take negativity out of your conversation. Be aware of your daily discussions and commentary.
The spiraling conversational circle of how bad things are will keep sending your brain toward those things. Our minds are powerful, so feed your mind with good healthy stuff and start talking about things that make you happy and bring you joy. Your spirit man or woman is taking notes as well.
Don’t agree with the wrong side on where your life is going.
Secondly, become an encourager.
In our negative world, we physically gravitate toward things that bring us comfort and joy, especially people.
When we encourage others, we feel encouraged. Changing our inward spiral to outward focus is reflected in our demeanor. Consequently, we feel better and give off a better vibe.
Next, and by far the most transformative perspective changer is to get rid of the triggers.
You feel the things you talk about, so be careful. What you talk about and think about shows up in your emotional responses to everything and everyone else.
What situations trigger you?
Those memories and triggers are roadblocks to joy and relationships. They are areas you need to let go of or talk to someone about. Usually, some forgiveness needs to happen. When you let go of your “right” to carry those things around, you will feel lighter.
Additionally, when we get beyond triggers, our new perspective will show up in our daily physical presentation.
Clearly, how we feel about ourselves, our perspective, is reflected in our clothing, personal habits, and how we take care of ourselves. The emotional self shows up in the physical.
If you want to be treated like an amazing girl, you need to invest in yourself. Treat yourself as beautiful. Be the amazing girl.
Start by taking regular showers, and get your hair done, smell good. Additionally, take care of your skin and don’t be lazy. Get outside, walk, and get your body moving. The basics will help you feel better about yourself. I can’t stress enough that you need to get off the couch.
If your wardrobe is depressing, then ask your stylish or intriguing friend for help. Great clothes are more for your mindset that for anything else. When you feel beautiful, you will be beautiful.
Add some soft to your clothing choices and lighten up. Too much black is off putting. Add color to your life.
(On the other hand, if your whole life is how you look, then that is almost worse. Self absorbed is repellent; vain is not attractive, a vibe that says no room for anyone but me me me).
Then there are group situations. If you feel you have to compete with every woman in the room, then you need some inner work more than outer work.
Focus on confidence and self acceptance. See part 1 again. Remember, love and acceptance starts with how you see yourself. It is a filter or lens through which we see the world.
When you feel unsure of your own opinion, you will take offense at the opinion of others.
Your opinion stands on its own and does not need validation. You will have to take the chip off your shoulder.
You do not need to prove someone else wrong in order to be right. This is a glaring example of low self esteem.
Next item: I think drinking causes a lot of issues. Think about your breakups, your arguments, and your worst moments.
Was there alcohol involved?
Some of the stupidest relationship and personal decisions have been made under the influence. I hate to say it, but alcohol isn’t good for your body in quantity and worse for your relationships. Alcohol is full of carbs and calories and makes us do and say things we would not ordinarily say or do.
We are quicker to anger, and have a distorted view under the influence.
I am not judging anyone. Believe me, I have perpetrated my fair share of idiocy while impaired. My normal consumption is a glass of wine with dinner. However, once in a while, I have marred my reputation with ridiculous behavior due to one too many. If you want to dazzle, switch to something healthier, especially in public or with someone you are dating.
Finally, attitude is everything.
How you feel about yourself, others, your life, and the rest of the world is apparent on a daily basis to the rest of the world. It all comes down to some personal work.
When all is said and done, maybe some counseling or therapy might help you find yourself. Do what you need to do. You have one life.
Genuine inner joy is the key to a better life. It opens doors, creates opportunity and draws people your way. Let go of the past and things that make you feel bad and embrace joy instead.
When your perspective becomes seeing yourself as a beautiful interesting woman, then you will dazzle.
Start practicing.
for part 1 of this series click here. Dazzle Part 1
Barefoot and writing,
Kim
To dazzle, change your perspective.
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