Family Life For Men Life Lessons

Heroes among us: Adulting adults

February 20, 2019
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Rain and more rain. Not fun for the cold grey winter in the south, but Spring will certainly be green and lush this year. Many things are like that. Things that are difficult or painful produce good things later.

The harder the work, the greater the result; the more difficult your circumstance, the more you grow. Kind of annoying if you think about it. If your life is too cushy, you get complacent or spoiled. If your mom and dad do everything for you, you don’t know how to be an adult.

If your parents didn’t act like adults, maybe you have some things to figure out.

Adulting is doing things that need to be done even when you don’t want to do them. The unsung heroes of the world do those things with a great attitude. They show up.

As far as I am concerned, my husband has this down. He is adulting and it is an aphrodisiac.

For instance, adulting includes paying your own bills, going to work instead of whining, and taking care of important issues and obligations before weekending.

Adulting includes having a good attitude even if things aren’t perfect.

We all go through things that alter us for a time, but adulting is getting past those things and not taking everyone else down with you.

Adulting is getting out of bed and taking care of your kids and household when you don’t feel like it. It is intentionally NOT engaging in behavior which is harmful to your children.

Compare taking care of responsibilities quickly with a good attitude to adolescent whining about not wanting to do something. Adolescents will whine and groan about doing something for much longer than it would actually take to do what has been asked in the first place. Most of us can laugh about that. We have either done it, had a kid who has done it, or watched other kids do it, right? Even worse, we know people who have long since entered the work force who do it.

I say to my grandkids with a big happy smile on my face, “Don’t waste time moaning about it, go do it. Do it now, then you can go do something you want to do. Quit thinking about it, do it. Right. Now.”

I repeat things  like, “Do it now, do it first. Put out the fires before they reach the next level. Get it done, ok?” Big silly smile as I herd them in the right direction.

As someone who has worked with young people a great deal in my life, the whiny shuffling eye rolling reactions over the years could have sent me into orbit, but somehow I was patient with teenagers. At least I think I was.

You know your kids have reached a new level of adulting when they start doing the responsible things instead of the expedient, lazy, or adolescent acting out.

They like you more when they are in grown up mode. They feel proud of themselves and smile more, because respect feels good.

Conversely, people who don’t take care of their own stuff really get under my skin. They try to turn the emergency they created into your emergency. They want to be rescued.

Then there are those who work ten times harder to avoid responsibility, than to simply take care of something. Imagine the power struggle they are still playing out years later. The “I don’t want to” preschool attitude. “You can’t make me.”

So here’s my bloggers homage to the adults of the world who take responsibility for their slice of life, who raise great kids, work, have a good attitude, and do the simple adulting.

You are heroes. You keep the world running. Your whole family is better because of you. The whole town is better because of you. The whole world runs on responsible folks doing the adulting.

Thank you.

Barefoot and writing among some great adulting adults,

Kim

Photo by bruce mars from Pexels

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