What makes a woman dazzling?

How do I dazzle? A woman’s ability to dazzle starts with her inherently present physical attributes. Soft skin, feminine hands, a collarbone, a woman’s hair, and her curves draw attention, because women are beautiful creations. But, in addition, there is an almost indefinable quality present in a fascinating woman.

What qualities make a woman seem to come alive and draw others to her?

The most fascinating women are present in the moment. 

She is both in the room, and participating in the moment. Unlike others, she isn’t clicking away on her phone or scanning the room to see who sees her. She is doing whatever she came to do or talking to whoever she came to meet. The dazzling woman is present.

Furthermore, the woman everyone is drawn to is relaxed.

Just being there, being present for the moments is a good start, but emotional connection also comes when we are relaxed. It says to other people, all is well.

Instead of fidgeting and constantly fixing her hair or checking her makeup, she is relaxed and enjoying herself. She is not waiting on her date/mate to compliment her or do something on her list of perfect guy stuff.

When a woman waits on her partner or date to do something on her list, she sends a signal that they are not meeting expectations. Making them wrong or not up to snuff kills attraction.

People will come toward you when you lean back and relax. 

Practice being relaxed and enjoy the moment you are in.

I used to practice being the most beautiful woman in the room by acting as if everyone saw me that way. It was a way of accepting myself and celebrating my womanhood. Inside, it helped me relax and over time, I began to accept my own beauty.

Just be there. Relax, and enjoy the moments you find yourself a part of. Find things to enjoy and take in.

Beyond being present and relaxed, how we come across and what message we convey gives us allure, or not. We send messages in a variety of ways.

First, are the most obvious, the physical signals.

For instance, smile. Happy people are magnets. Our smiles show up across a room and open doors for us. We feel better when we smile.

If you are not a smiling person, I get it. I am not talking plastering on a fake smile or clown face. Try letting go of things that make you sad or down. Tell your face to relax. Let yourself reveal some emotion. Practice smiling at yourself.

If you have to, revamp your environment and your input to change your expression.  A smiling happy woman is mesmerizing.

You can’t take your eyes off a truly happy woman.

I went through a time when I needed to be alone and took some time to myself. My body language said “Back off,” and my attention was turned inward. Inside, I needed to regroup. Once I righted myself, I was able to relax again and smile openly. My body language changed starting with my face and it was noticeable.

If you want to help a relationship, or find one, you have to open up. Relax your body language and smile. Lean back, stop fidgeting.

The girl with the twinkle in her eye from her own inner merriment dazzles.

Take the closed sign off your forehead. Guarded or aggressive, don’t mess with me behavior is just that, closed. To dazzle involves intimacy, openness, and being genuine.

If you are still closed, then perhaps this post is not for you just yet.

When we are emotionally real, true to ourselves, and genuine, we are fascinating.

Doubly so, if we accept ourselves completely. We trust ourselves and choose a date/mate better. We tend toward balance with less lows.

Genuine honesty that is not hurtful or ugly is disarming, and absolutely dazzling.

However, I think that by far the most dazzling thing about a woman is a high level of confidence. Confidence is mental, physical, and emotional.

First, when we are comfortable in our own skin and have come to terms with ourselves, we draw people into our circle of comfort.

You don’t have to be the world’s version of hot to be magnetically beautiful. You just have to be okay with you. Read “Comfortable in my own skin” for some insight in this area. How a woman sees herself will be obvious to others. If you need work on what you say to yourself , read What you whisper to yourself is powerful.

Secondly, celebrate your womanliness, because your  beautiful soft skin and curves  are unique and precious. You don’t need anyone’s approval but your own.

There is someone who desires someone just like you, but it starts with you.

As God’s most beautiful creation, we come in all shapes and sizes. From slender to full and luscious, women can captivate. Think of the movie stars and pop stars you find beautiful. From tiny Gwen Stefani to curvy Jennifer Hudson, there is no perfect shape. Every woman can be sexy without being overtly sexual.

More importantly, confidence emanates from knowing your place in your world, doing something you are proud of and surrounding yourself with people you respect.

When I am writing and doing it well, I feel good about my career. That translates to confidence.

When I feel confident, I take better care of myself. By the same token, when I am comfortable in my own skin, I dress the way I feel. The way I walk, speak, dress, and carry myself all comes down to how I feel about myself. You and I are where dazzling begins.

Barefoot and dazzling,

Kim

For more see Part 2 of Dazzle: Changing our perspective.

Dazzle them. Dazzle him.