Start where you are with what you’ve got.
When you are faced with a difficult challenge, it is up to you to simply make a choice. you can wallow, cry, and ignore it, or you can move forward. Acknowledge the journey that starts here today and start where you are with what you’ve got.
1. First, no matter the role others have played, we have to accept that we are responsible for our own lives.
To really solve something you have to let go of blaming anyone else or waiting on someone to solve your problem, because Your success is up to you.
*For real perspective, it is smart to stop and pray for clarity, solutions, and direction before you brainstorm.
2. Secondly, it is clear that to solve a problem or make a plan, you need to define the issue at hand.
This stage is where clarity is important. What is it specifically that is bothering you or what problem needs to be solved?
Are there things that keep you up at night with worry? Give your problem or issue a name and define it. It might be a group of things or a feeling, an obstacle, or an addiction.
3. After giving the issue a name, ask yourself, “What is the ultimate goal? What do I want to see happen instead?”
This stage is about whatever positive outcome what you want not changing someone else. It is NOT, “How can I make Person A do what I want?” If your solution starts with “If they” then you have missed the point. Controlling others is not a part of solving YOUR problem.
If you start where you are and work with what you have, you won’t have to wait on anyone.
4. Next, make an assessment. Remember, start where you are with what you’ve got. Ask yourself, “What do I have that can help this situation?
What is my present situation? Can money fix this problem? Do I want real change? What talent or skill do I have that can affect change?”
Additionally, will time spent solve it? Do you need to stop immediately and put out a fire or stop something from becoming a bigger problem?
If you have ever read a book about someone’s survival experience, the first thing the team or individual does when they realize they are in trouble is to acknowledge that they need help.
When they realize that direct help is probably not coming from an outside source and ultimately their own rescue is up to them, it is a turning point. Sink or swim so to speak.
Next, they define the problem. Then the survivors take stock of what they have on hand and what they will need to save themselves. Finally, they make a plan and work the problem.
Remember movies like Martian with Matt Damon, or Apollo 13 with Tom Hanks? They work through these steps. They don’t spend any time whining about how they got there or rehashing the original problem.
The persons in trouble accept the responsibility for the problem and work the problem.
Pray like it depends on God, work like it depends on you.
Doing something to solve a problem gives you something else to think about. Instead of wailing in despair, we rise to the challenge.
Don’t go on a rabbit trail. Define the problem, take stock, and assess. Stick to the real problem and brainstorm fixes.
5. Then, move forward in some way. Even small changes toward your goal can create some momentum.
You have something that can change your situation. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now?”
No matter where you start, you can always move forward in some small way. In the real scheme of things, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel or give a speech at the U.N. So, don’t wait.
One time when we were in debt, we resolved to stop spending anything for a month and see how long we could go without spending any money. It put a halt to some bad habits and helped us develop a plan for moving forward.
We repeat that step occasionally to remind us how far we have come. Opening the fridge or pantry and eating what we have on hand for a month or so will change perspective in a hurry.
6. Finally, choose some new habits to practice and make part of your routine.
In marriage we developed a weekly coffee talk to discuss plans, money, groceries, kids, the yard, garden, and household repairs. It is our home office meeting of sorts. We also call it our state of the union talk.
My husband and I go over plans and decided what we need for the house or plan our vacation. We discuss the budget and share our needs and wants ideas. One of us usually makes an appointment call right then as we check things off our lists.
Pick one or two simple things that will change future issues for the better.
At this moment, you are responsible for you and any children, elderly, or animals who depend on you, but you are not curing cancer (unless of course you are curing cancer). Make some simple decisions and make those decisions part of your daily life.
Most problems can be solved. So, it is up to you to make some small step forward. Pay that bill. Call that person. Work out how to solve that one thing. This week choose something to get right and just do it.
Start where you are, right now. Your sanity is worth whatever it takes to improve your situation.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth is transformed and the mountains are toppled into the depths of the seas, though their waters roar and foam and the mountains quake in the surge. Psalm 46:1-3
Barefoot and writing,
You might also enjoy: Best marriage tools, state of the union.
Further help can be found here: From the inside out, coping in difficult seasons.
and also my favorite post at the moment Strength and boundaries, what we allow.