It’s a Monday. I woke up thinking about something that stressed me out recently. Some things seem to always make me anxious. People who argue for the sake of arguing, people who gripe and complain loudly about how the world treats them bad. People who treat others badly or are manipulative. I get a tightness in my chest, and I feel so annoyed that I pretty much stop dealing with those people. In fact, they don’t realize they pay a jerk tax such as loss of friends, loss of opportunity, and loss of money.
As a remedy for the stress of dealing with jerks, I am writing about it. Then, I am going to think about puppies , kittens, and low carb cupcakes for the rest of the day.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure, then peaceable, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere.
With wisdom in mind, and a prayer to start the decompress, I accept the peaceable, gentle, and merciful guiding hand of God while writing this morning. It would almost be funny except it isn’t. Dealing with jerks is stressful.
I don’t think it matters to an overbearing arguer, manipulator, or mean girl/gal whether they are right or wrong. It seems their goal is to win arguments or get their way. They like to conquer to assert control.
They tend to be bossy and heavy handed, so I avoid them like the plague. I can’t stand the jittery stress feeling it gives me to be around someone who argues for fun and then complains about the outcome.
I reserve the right to not have jerks in my life.
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
First, ask for wisdom, then ask yourself if you are one of those people. Or did someone else immediately come to mind?
Let’s say it is someone else. Does the person in question have trouble making friends or keeping friends?
Is the phrase “I just tell it like it is” a common defense as if it is a positive personality trait to be rude?
What if the person in question is a boss? The Arguer or Jerk does not make a good boss. They have trouble keeping employees or cost themselves more money having to pay to keep people. They create health issues in employees, and probably themselves.
It’s a being a jerk tax.
Employees who argue and act like jerks cost themselves more money than necessary. I venture that they lose jobs or promotions and pay raises for their rude and off putting attitude. They don’t get the neighborly volunteer help or special perks. Instead, they lose friends and complain about other people. If you are a jerk, I have some advice.
Stop it.
Look in the mirror and make a better choice. Get some therapy, forgive yourself. Forgive others. Go to church, or find a better way to live. You need an attitude adjustment. Turn over a new leaf, and stop it already.
Maybe the jerk doesn’t know he or she is a jerk? Not sure, so I am supposed to pray for these people. Here is my prayer. Whatever happened to create this negative behavior in this person, I ask God to bring healing.
Wow, the air in the room changed the second I prayed for the person.
I should not let a jerk take up any more of my head space, so I am amending my earlier thoughts to: For the rest of the day I will think about “Jesus, puppies, kittens, and low carb cupcakes.”
On the other hand, if you have a jerk in your life, you have several additional options after you sincerely pray for them.
You can love them from afar and stop interacting on a regular basis.
Or, you can have a sit down and express your concerns. Attempt to make peace without being accusatory or causing offense.
Describe the behavior and how it makes you feel in words of emotion. Have an exit plan or consequence if the situation doesn’t improve and share that too.
Or keep putting up with behavior that causes you horrible stress.
I have a friend who says, “You get what you allow.”
Let that sink in.
If you have a jerk in your life and let them act awful, it is just as much your responsibility, because it affects your life.
Probably makes you mad. You are a nice person. They are the jerk, so you ask “Why do I have to deal with it?” Well, because your mental health is a huge responsibility in this day and age. You are responsible for you. Take care of you by choosing how you will deal with them. You have the three possible responses: Prayer, love from afar, or have that sit down.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
My prayer is that you stand up for yourself and refuse to allow behavior that is hurtful or causes stress.
In the past I ran interference for people in my life who were not able to control their jerky behavior. Now I don’t allow jerky behavior in my life. It is a big change, but the stress and anxiety affects my fibromyalgia, so I changed my response.
You know what to do:
Prayers for their healing
Love them from afar,
or have a sit down.
Barefoot and writing peacefully,
Kim
Final thoughts:
If the jerk in question is in your personal life and has ever used physical violence, it is not an emotional issue anymore. It is a stop, do not pass go, leave and get help immediately situation.
Secondly, if you come in contact with a stranger who is acting like a jerk in a public situation, do not engage. You do not know the jerk you are dealing with, do not know whether they are carrying, and do not know their emotional state. Public jerks can be dangerous. Call the police if warranted.
the jerk tax, removing jerks from your life
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