the importance of play in a relationship
Friday, my husband and I were sending silly texts from across the room which resulted in smiling and laughing over our meal later. In the middle of the ensuing ramping up of our humorous repartee, I was reminded me of how important play is in a relationship.
As a great example, I will share a story my best friend told me. She and her husband had an ongoing back and forth thing, where they played jokes on each other. Mostly harmless pranks, but incredibly humorous even decades later. My favorite story from this episodic (and absurd, I thought at the time) practice was when she poured a bucket filled with ice and water over her husband while he was taking a shower (in the middle of winter). She had to sneakily climb up and stand on the toilet, take a breath, and dump the icy revenge over the top.
He screamed as only a man can scream and chased her through the house like a crazy person.
The last few years reunited with my husband have reminded me how much we still play, but more importantly how much we need to in our relationships. Laughter draws a couple together.
When I was younger, no one had to remind me to play. It was natural to laugh hysterically and tell funny stories or try to get each other to laugh.
As newlyweds, my husband and I embarrassed each other in good natured ways. We didn’t have to work to keep merriment alive. I remember us being funny and constantly creating reasons to celebrate in crazy ways and laugh with friends. In fact, until all the deaths in our families and of friends, we wore natural smiles and flirted with each other as easily as breathing.
What happened to all of that flirtation and celebration was the tragedies in real life. Joy was chased away by trauma and we had to go find our joy and retrieve it. Then, and now.
As a rule and practice, it is a part of our current relationship to cultivate those things that bring us joy, make us laugh, and give us a jolt. I call it adding excitement, or stirring things up, and sometimes cultivating magic, so our lives sing and talk about those constantly in my blog.
You have to be conscious of how to make your life sing and then keep doing those things. Here are some ideas on how to make your own relationship better with fun.
First, make your own relationship soar by recounting stories of when you made each other laugh. The funny things that happened to you or the ones where as my husband reminds me are “tragedy plus time equals humor” draw up good feelings.
Laughter does a heart good. It dispels grief. Fill your life and relationships with laughter and joy.
Secondly, give funny gifts. Not stupid, unkind, or wasteful, but just outright silly or witty to combat the negative.
Also you could add some kid-like play back to your lives that is unique to your relationship.
Only you know what all that could entail, but my husband and I like to send witty texts or dance in the living room spontaneously. He tells me dad jokes, and we cook together. We speak in movie quotes that only the two of us understand.
One time he was painting a huge wall and he painted “I love Kimmie” on the wall and called me in there. It had a big heart and it was so silly I laughed and took a photo. That moment comes to mind all the time.
Making a serious woman laugh is flirtation,
My son in law and daughter and family travel together and make sure they get to the beach during the year. They are fun gatherers!
I have another friend whose mantra is that fun and experiences are more important than things. How true!
A home can be empty even when filled with beautiful things if you are unhappy or disconnected, so add that fun back in. Gather those experiences that bring the zing back.
If you are stuck in your relationship, add some fun, some jokes, and some silly to your relationship.
Watch funny, do fun.
Try something new and let yourself enjoy it. Laugh with each other.
Finally, cast off your cares and really participate instead of checking boxes.